scattered counsels

Add now, to make this second fruit of friendship complete, that other point, which lieth
more open, and falleth within vulgar observation; which is faithful counsel from a friend.
Heraclitus saith well in one of his enigmas, Dry light is ever the best. And certain it is,
that the light that a man receiveth by counsel from another, is drier and purer, than that
which cometh from his own understanding and judgment; which is ever infused, and drenched,
in his affections and customs. So as there is as much difference between the counsel, that a
friend giveth, and that a man giveth himself, as there is between the counsel of a friend,
and of a flatterer. For there is no such flatterer as is a man’s self; and there is no such
remedy against flattery of a man’s self, as the liberty of a friend. Counsel is of two
sorts: the one concerning manners, the other concerning business. For the first, the best
preservative to keep the mind in health, is the faithful admonition of a friend. The calling
of a man’s self to a strict account, is a medicine, sometime too piercing and corrosive.
Reading good books of morality, is a little flat and dead. Observing our faults in others,
is sometimes improper for our case. But the best receipt (best, I say, to work, and best to
take) is the admonition of a friend. It is a strange thing to behold, what gross errors and
extreme absurdities many (especially of the greater sort) do commit, for want of a friend to
tell them of them; to the great damage both of their fame and fortune: for, as St. James
saith, they are as men that look sometimes into a glass, and presently forget their own
shape and favor. As for business, a man may think, if he will, that two eyes see no more
than one; or that a gamester seeth always more than a looker–on; or that a man in anger, is
as wise as he that hath said over the four and twenty letters; or that a musket may be shot
off as well upon the arm, as upon a rest; and such other fond and high imaginations, to
think himself all in all. But when all is done, the help of good counsel is that which
setteth business straight. And if any man think that he will take counsel, but it shall be
by pieces; asking counsel in one business, of one man, and in another business, of another
man; it is well (that is to say, better, perhaps, than if he asked none at all); but he
runneth two dangers: one, that he shall not be faithfully counselled; for it is a rare
thing, except it be from a perfect and entire friend, to have counsel given, but such as
shall be bowed and crooked to some ends, which he hath, that giveth it. The other, that he
shall have counsel given, hurtful and unsafe (though with good meaning), and mixed partly of
mischief and partly of remedy; even as if you would call a physician, that is thought good
for the cure of the disease you complain of, but is unacquainted with your body; and
therefore may put you in way for a present cure, but overthroweth your health in some other
kind; and so cure the disease, and kill the patient. But a friend that is wholly acquainted
with a man’s estate, will beware, by furthering any present business, how he dasheth upon
other inconvenience. And therefore rest not upon scattered counsels; they will rather
distract and mislead, than settle and direct.