No Hoes

A thirteen-year-old boy was sitting on the sofa watching TV when the phone rang　　

“Hello, my son.” it was his father’s voice, “where is your mother?”

“Mother is working in the garden.”　　

“What?” barked the father, “Your mother is not as young and strong as she used to be. Why aren’t you helping her?”

“I can't.” was the reply. “Grandma is using the other hoe.”

Is there a crib in your stomach?

When my sister-in-low Leach was expecting her second child, her son Brain would sometimes touch his mother’s tummy to feel the baby move. 　　One day, while touching her stomach and not feel anything, he asked, “How come the baby isn’t moving?”

“The baby is sleeping.” replied his mother.

Brain thought a moment and then said, “You mean you got a crib in there too?”

Saving a Dollar

Johnny: Papa, would you be glad if I saved a dollar for you?

Papa: Naturally, my son.

Johnny: Well, I have saved one dollar for you. You said that if I brought a good mark this week, you would give me a dollar and I haven’t brought one.